The hidden emotional side of perimenopause that many women quietly struggle with.
One thing I have noticed myself as I am getting closer to my 40s is that I mentally hit more lows than I did in my 20s or 30s.
My energy and motivation seem to dip more throughout the cycle, and some days it is really hard to pull myself out of a mood that seems to come out of nowhere.
I also notice that there are more days when, for no apparent reason, I start to feel anxious and constantly wired. Thoughts begin to ruminate in my head like an unwanted visitor.
And in those moments, it simply doesn’t feel like me anymore.
Most of the women I work with who are in perimenopause or menopause also experience some sort of mental health dip. It might show up as irritability, feeling constantly on edge, not being able to hold it together, going into panic quickly, or feeling overwhelmed by worry and anxiety.
One of the reasons for this is the drop in hormones that affect mood — particularly the decline in estrogen.
On the other hand, there is also the mental load of life that we rarely realise we carry.
Trying to do it all — looking after kids, managing the house, working full time and often still trying to progress further in our careers. Girl, you’ve been carrying this load for quite a while.
Being the responsible one squeezed into the “sandwich generation” — looking after elderly parents and worrying about their health while still caring for kids or grandkids, trying to find patience and energy for everyone.
Then there are the social expectations — meeting up, staying connected, replying to hundreds of WhatsApp messages and group chats.
Lastly, I think every woman over 40 will relate to this: the comparison trap.
On one hand, we compare ourselves to past versions of ourselves — how we looked, what we used to do, how we felt. You may even reach a point where you start questioning your life choices, your work, and your purpose. You may feel lost because you’re no longer sure what truly brings you joy.
On the other hand, you start noticing the physical changes: wrinkles, your body changing, jeans feeling tighter around the waist, your face looking a bit more tired.
And then, to make it even worse, you go on social media and see women who are 50 or 60 but somehow look 10-15 years younger than you. They seem happier, like they have it all together. And suddenly there’s this external pressure to stay young and look young.
All of these things mixed together in a “crazy peri-menopausal cocktail” can make you feel like you’re losing it at times.
The last thing I want to do is leave you without any tools to help manage these lows. So here are a few things that can really help:
• Exercise (probably the most important one to lift up your mood and manage stress)
• Reducing stimulants such as caffeine and alcohol
• Improving your sleep routine — yoga, gentle stretching before bed, breathing exercises or meditation
• Maintaining strong connections with people you trust
• Setting healthy boundaries and saying “no” more often
If you’d like to go a bit deeper into this topic, I’ve recorded a full podcast episode about it and you can listen to it here.
Stay warm and cosy,
Paula
Women’s Health & Wellness Coach